Monday, May 11, 2009

Choice

today, quite a sad day that i had
my dear said that i really not concern about her, not care about her
every time that we have a call
i always want to stop the phone and reject it
but another way
i am very sad that what she really said to me
so far
i am the one who only try to understand her more and more
at least we as a couple, i would try to figure out more of her

i miss her so much when we in our own hometown
recently, she was frustrated about changing school
but
i was frustrated all of my mind
career, family, and also relationship

Did we can move the relationship with a last long?
i hope we can
but
i hope we can understand well of each other and know what that each other need.
i don't want that i am the only who try to understand

distance
a problem that usually and obviously effect which relationship want to keep last long
but,
try to think that if we both person having the heart with each other
did this problem of distance will effect our relationship?

obviously show that i really not interest about studies,
but
did u think that i am not interest of it?
did i have the ability to further more?
did i have the financial support to further more?
did i have the choices to further more of my studies to keep giving pressure of my family?
did i can choose to further more of studies from help my family and give my mom a better life?
did i want to further more to see my mom keep working with a tired and growing old face?

i know that if i futher more of my studies
i will get a high paid in the next future time
but the economy is under crisis time
i don't have the ability of financial to futhermore
i hope that i can help to less of my family financial problem

who don't want to further more to study?
that is not we choose the life
now is the life which choosing me

i know that another way of further study,
apply loan
but
in the next future no need to return?

i really don't want to finish hang the phone in early
i also wan to have a long talk with u
but
i cant control my emotion.
i hope that u will stand of my situation to think.
i still love you
jia

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